All that hazy night time noir
And the lights blurring into faux sunlight
Makes me sick with longing or with real
Sickness. Which is which I cannot tell.
And so the cars rush past in their separate world
And to know you is hardly any wonder,
But it’s enough for tonight to calm me down
Or maybe cheer me up, it all blurs
Together like some bizarre liquid
And we expand and contract
We explode and react
And no chemical could emulate this.

In a house by myself
I hear the ice start to melt
And I watched the rooftops weep for the sunlight
And I know what must change
Fuck my face, fuck my name
They are brief and false advertisements

For a soul, I don't have
Something true I have lacked
And spent my whole life trying to make up for
But I found, in a song
And in the people I love
They will lift me up out of darkness

The main ideology that resounds through On the Road is a zest for motion. Sal and Dean do not question the purpose of their journey, or even whether there is a purpose at all. Instead they wander compulsively and go racing towards the sunset based on instinct alone. This reflects the instibility of their lives and social positions; Sal is a writer unsure of his style and income, and Dean has no income at all for most of the novel. Even though the book spans several years, few of the characters display significant change of character or increase in maturity. The dominant reading here is to ally with the two protagonists against society, against wealth and mainstream culture, and to embrace the road that they’re on, so to speak.

last night was off the hoooook. stayed at amalia's which stepped on a few toes but hey whatever. we drank goon and watched 'the rules of attraction'. fucking great film. then we went down the beach and it was so still and just great. lit a fucking huge bonfire with nathan, felt like we were on the OC or some shit. then walked back through pallarenda, this crazy beachside settlement, aaaaand graffitied vulgarities in a house that was still being constructed. felt great. and it was just awesome. today went thrifting, picked up some awesome green doc martens and a plastic 35mm camera, awesome awesome awesome. now so many assignments but if i get them done then i won't feel so bad. must stop procrastinating. musssst.
i just said 'awesome' like 32 times

i'm sick.
my cousins are here.
i am in hell.
i want this weekend to be over.

look what happened to me today!

but me i'm not a gamble, you can count on me to split

happy 27th birthday concon!